comparative merits of singledom

For all those lucky singles out there who are bemoaning their fate and contemplating drastic measures like asking someone out, stop right now and enjoy ur luck while u can! U never know when that dangerous armed madman with a grudge against humanity may strike you (Cupid, for the uninitiated) and transform you from a rational being to a delusional, mush spewing mental case who gets weird ideas. Its satan working under the guise of romantic gestures.
I mean, for gods sake, what kind of idiot turns up outside someones balcony at some ungodly hour like 11.30 p.m just because his girlfriend (with whom he has been talking utter nonsense for the past 3 hours instead of doing something productive and fun like sleeping) expressed a sudden, mad desire to see him?
And the whole cards-flowers-teddybear routine is soooo cliched! If ur gonna be dumb, atleast do it in style! Be original!
And those who are in relationships, act with a little more thought on how ur present actions might make u reconsider the state of ur sanity when u have become wiser someday and look back on all this. Worse, what are your grandchildren going to think of you??!!!
If ur gonna set relationship targets, make ur friends rue the day they decided u might not be such a bad person to hang out with, if you notice urself being magnetically attracted to the icky romantic comedies they put on tv from time to time as if to test our strength to endure crap, if the mills and boon kind of books seem suddenly very interesting, if you spend hours talking to yourself and have turned suddenly sickeningly giggly, well my friend u are suffering from moronitis. It is a deadly disease which afflicts those who are low on common sense and whose brains are filled with fluff. Even some normally sane people are known to be afflicted.
So i now choose to spend my vacant hours(read: when i am mindlessly bored enough to write crap like this!) in compiling a list of the merits and advantages of being single. Anyone is welcome to add to it.
• Your phone bill wont go through the roof due to the endless mindless hours spent talking about inane nonsense to your beloved. This is not meant to be taken as an insult to Mr.Graham Bell, whom as we all know is a great man who worked tirelessly to increase profits for the telephone companies.
• You can hang out with whom u want for however long u want without having to worry about whether ur beloved would get offended by the company you keep due to the fact that ur present companions best friends ex-girlfriends cousins senior who dated ur beloveds neighbours daughters friend cheated on her(on the neighbours daughters friend).
• you neednt give up a challenging and inspiring game with your friends after school coz ur gf wants to go watch the new romantic comedy in which Hugh Grant looks sooooooooo cute!! (Ugh!!)
• Girls are not subjected to long boring mindless hours watching cricket or something equally lame with your guy coz he wants to spend time with you AND watch the all important match.
• You cam switch off your cell phone and not give a damn about whether you are gonna miss an important call which may lead to a silly fight which goes something like "You were avoiding me!!" (teary voice) "No sweetie pie of course I wasnt, why would i do that?" "I know its all because of that new girl/boy in your french class, the hot one from Bangalore!!!"(teary dangerous voice) "Of course not, what gave you that idea?" "Oh you think i am stupid, i know u were tal;king to him/her for half an hour yesterday while u were waiting for your car!" (starting to smoke now) "Well, thats coz i was bored u know and i had nothing to do" "U should have thought about me or something! Why couldnt u do that? I am never good enough for you, am I? U dont love me!!!" (its gonna blowwww!!!!)
• No need to use 'affectionate' nicknames which might make other sane people consider you with concern over your mental stability. A few of the most common are -------- snugglebum, babe(u know, like the pig!), sweetiepie, cutie, loverboy/girl, darling, angel, Goddess(not kidding about this one), chocofudge, honeybunny, poobear.......etc etc
.no need to change your unique personality and ur sense of dressing coz ur gf/;bf doesnt like it and thinks that pink is definitely more your colour(barf barf puke puke) and tries to make u wear stuff like wat the backstreet boys wear or Mariah Carey.
.no need to worry abt the damn suntans, pimples,blackcircles etc on ur face
no need to spend lavishly on idiotic beauty products
.no need to burn ur pocket for ur gf,girls in some cases on ur bf on parties, some idiotic movies,restaraunts,gifts etc...etc...
ok this is getting a little too much for me. Will be back again with more stuff to add to the list and please feel free to add your own thoughts and ideas to the list!

The Friendship Poem

Friends do things for one another
They understand
They go a million miles out of their way
They hold your hand
They bring you smiles
when a smile is exactly what you needed.

They listen and they hear
what is said in the spaces between the words
They care
and they let you know
you're in their prayers.

Friends always know the perfect thing to do
they can make your whole day
just by saying something that no one else
could have said.

Sometimes you feel like the two of you
share a secret language
that others can't tune in to.

A friend can guide you, inspire you,
comfort you, or light up your life with laughter.
A friend understands your moods
and nurtures your needs.
A friend lovingly knows just what you're after.

When your feelings come from deep inside
and they need to be spoken to someone
you don't have to hide from,
you share them with a friend.

When good news comes
a friend is the first one you turn to
When feelings overflow
and tears need to fall
friends help you through it all.

Friends bring sunlight into your life
They warm your life with their presence
whether they are far away
or close by your side.

A friend is a gift
that brings happiness
and a treasure
that money can't buy.

Collin McCarty

You Are My Lucky Star by Meghan

You Are My Lucky Star
by Meghan
You are my lucky star
In life you've helped me get really far
You were always there when I needed you
And I hope I was always there for you too

You are my lucky star
I know God sent you here for me from afar
You had a way of making me happy when I was sad
And if I did something wrong, you wouldn't be mad

You are my lucky star
My best friend is also what you are
You helped me realize what I'm living for
But now you're gone & each day I'm missing you more

Seasons Of Changes by Butterfly

Why am I so different?
What did I ever do?
To deserve the kind of treatment
that I receive from you.

You were my friend
when times were blue.
You stood by my side,
through and through.

But now you have changed,
you are acting quite different,
I want your old self,
to come out from inside.

I want our friendship back
I want you to change.
Is it asking too much
for you to be my friend once again?

What You Mean To Me… by Nikkie

You turned my darkness into light;
You made everything all right.
You picked me up when I was down;
You turned my life around.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A blessing is what you are to me.

When I needed you the most, you were there;
Even if it seemed like you didn't care.
When I didn't think I could make it another day,
You chased all my doubts away.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A treasure is what you are to me.

The world is full of many people, it's true;
But there is only one of you.
You fill my heart with love;
You're a God-sent gift from above.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
An angel is what you are to me.

Lost and alone, I will no longer be;
Because you are here with me.
There is no reason to be sad;
You've taken away all the bad.
If I didn't have you, what would I be?
A best friend is what you are to me!!

wife & Husband

>WOMEN'S REVENGE
>
>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding
>items the woman wished
>to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed
>a remote control
>for a television set in her purse. "So, do you
>always carry your TV
>remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my
>husband refused to come
>shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
>evil thing I could do
>to him legally."
>
>
>WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>A couple drove down a country road for several
>miles, not saying a word.
>An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
>neither of them wanted
>to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard
>of mules, goats,
>and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically,
>"Relatives of yours?" "Yep,"
>the husband replied, "in-laws."
>
>WORDS
>A husband read an article to his wife about how
>many words women use a
>day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied,
>"The reason has to be
>because we have to repeat everything to men... The
>husband then turned
>to his wife and asked, "What?"
>
>CREATION
>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how
>you can be so stupid
>and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife
>responded, "Allow me to
>explain. God made me beautiful so you would be
>attracted to me; God made
>me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
>
>WHO DOES WHAT
>A man and his wife were having an argument about
>who should brew the
>coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do
>it, because you get
>up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to
>get our coffee." The
>husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around
>here and you should
>do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
>for my coffee."
>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
>is in the Bible
>that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies,
>"I can't believe
>that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened
>the New Testament
>and showed him at the top of several pages, that it
>indeed
>says.......... "HEBREWS" (yuck!!!)
>
>THE SILENT TREATMENT
>
>A man and his wife were having some problems at home
>and were giving
>each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man
>realized that the
>xt day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00
>for an early
>morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first
>to break the
>silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
>"Please wake me at
>5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find
>it. The next morning,
>the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
>he had missed his
>flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
>wife hadn't wakened
>him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
>The paper said, "It is
>5:00 AM. Wake up."
>regards,
>
>
>
>
>Keep in touch, Forever!

let blessings shower on u

A two minute read.......

Read this story, and
follow the recommendation at
the end...

As I was walking
down life's highway
many years ago

I came upon a
sign that read

Heavens Grocery Store.

When I got a
little closer

the doors swung
open wide



And when I came
to myself

I was standing
inside.

I saw a host of
angels.

They were
standing everywhere

One handed me a
basket

and said "My
child shop with care."

Everything a
human needed

was in that
grocery store

And what you
could not carry

you could come
back for more

First I got some
Patience.

Love was in that
same row.

Further down was
Understanding,

you need that
everywhere you go.

I got a box or
two of Wisdom

and Faith a bag
or two.

And Charity of
course

I would need some
of that too.

I couldn't miss
the Holy Ghost

It was all over
the place.

And then some
Strength

and Courage to
help me run this race.

My basket was
getting full

but I remembered
I needed Grace,

And then I chose
Salvation for

Salvation was for
free

I tried to get
enough of that to do

for you and me.

Then I started to
the counter

to pay my grocery
bill,

For I thought I
had everything

to do the Masters
will.

As I went up the
aisle

I saw Prayer and
put that in,

For I knew when I
stepped outside

I would run into
sin.

Peace and Joy
were plentiful,

the last things
on the shelf.

Song and Praise
were hanging near

so I just helped
myself.

Then I said to
the angel

"Now how much do
I owe?"

He smiled and
said

"Just take them
everywhere you go."

Again I asked
"Really now,

How much do I
owe?"

"My child" he
said, "God paid your bill

a long long time
ago."

This poem has
been sent to you

with love and for
blessings .

It originated in
the Netherlands

and has been
around the world 9 times.

The blessings has now
come to you and

you will receive
good blessings in the mail

within six days
of receiving this letter

providing you
sent it out to someone else.

Do not send money
as this message
has no price. Do
not keep this letter

but send it on to
someone who

needs blessings.
Of course, blessings