Wednesday, August 3, 2005

wife & Husband

>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding
>items the woman wished
>to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed
>a remote control
>for a television set in her purse. "So, do you
>always carry your TV
>remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my
>husband refused to come
>shopping with me, and I figured this was the most
>evil thing I could do
>to him legally."
>A couple drove down a country road for several
>miles, not saying a word.
>An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
>neither of them wanted
>to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard
>of mules, goats,
>and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically,
>"Relatives of yours?" "Yep,"
>the husband replied, "in-laws."
>A husband read an article to his wife about how
>many words women use a
>day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied,
>"The reason has to be
>because we have to repeat everything to men... The
>husband then turned
>to his wife and asked, "What?"
>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how
>you can be so stupid
>and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife
>responded, "Allow me to
>explain. God made me beautiful so you would be
>attracted to me; God made
>me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
>A man and his wife were having an argument about
>who should brew the
>coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do
>it, because you get
>up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to
>get our coffee." The
>husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around
>here and you should
>do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait
>for my coffee."
>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
>is in the Bible
>that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies,
>"I can't believe
>that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened
>the New Testament
>and showed him at the top of several pages, that it
>says.......... "HEBREWS" (yuck!!!)
>A man and his wife were having some problems at home
>and were giving
>each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man
>realized that the
>xt day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00
>for an early
>morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first
>to break the
>silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
>"Please wake me at
>5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find
>it. The next morning,
>the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
>he had missed his
>flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
>wife hadn't wakened
>him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
>The paper said, "It is
>5:00 AM. Wake up."
>Keep in touch, Forever!

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