Tuesday, May 30, 2006

DIScoverinG MYSelf…..INDeed

Well if you are one of the persons reading this crap; join the club for being the most useless, jobless persons of this beautiful planet earth like me!! Well, why else would you try and endure crap like this-discovering myself indeed, lol. Which I tend to write when I am mindlessly bored, and have no other useful work to do other that dreaming of Mr. Right!!! (For more info read the blog on my Mr. Right)

So…. Who am I? What am I doing in this earth? What is the purpose of my existence? What am I suppose to achieve in this earth? What has future in store for me? …….Such a bag full of questions to which answers are to be discovered.

Who am I indeed? …. As far as I know, I am Vidya Natarajan. Period. Nothing more nothing less. A female species on this earth. Lol. And a good little 17 year old girl indeed who is going to be 18 in a month and half. Lol. I think that is what I am, a stupid, dumb, zany, boring child in this earth. Lol.

Hmm… so what do I do on this earth? Study. Lol. That is not much truth there I guess. Well indeed I study, and people say I am good at it. But there is a lot more I can do then go on studying law, tax… (Groan) it sucks. Lol. But the thing I love to study is only one subject and that is Accounts. I almost love that subject. No other subject has interested me like that so far. Well… other than studying, I write crap like this, I listen to music, I paint, I cook, I watch T.V. nothing I does is complete, I am an amateur in all these arts. You can see it yourself from this so called disorganized blog. Lol.

The purpose of my existence – I seriously have to find that so called purpose. Indeed I guess I have no purpose to exist. I am one among the millions in the world, living life like that, with whatsoever no ambitions. And living the way life takes them. Well I do not have any specific goal in my life. I just study, as people around me are studying. And well I took up the courses in college, because people thought I would be good at it. Lol. I don’t even know if I like the courses I have taken up. And my current goal is to clear all papers without a black mark. That’s it; I don’t know what I want to do after that. That is a million dollar question still hanging around in the corner of my head, when I try to think of it, my mind screen goes blank and says that ‘the space is empty, please try again later’!!! Lol!!

What have I achieved so far? Surviving 17 long years in this earth. Passing out of school in a clean mark. Getting a seat in the prestigious college in the city. Passing my ICWA foundation with awesome marks without realizing it. Trying to develop my inner talents, like painting and writing. Enduring boring law and tax classes!! Making myself interested in accountancy. Well... Indeed I have achieved something, so far as far as I am concerned.

The future… the present itself is so bleak to me!! How could I look into the future? I don’t even know what I am going to do today, and you ask me about tomorrow!! On a more serious note, well let me think, it will have some very interesting things in store for me I guess, like making me meet Mr. Right!! Lol. Hmmm, passing out of college, finishing ICWA colorfully, getting a brilliant job with an awesome salary... so much to look forward into the future indeed, but still a hell lot of time left for it.

There are still a hell lot of questions, I am trying to answer. Lol. But when I try to think of what questions they are, like I said, my mind screen goes blank and says ‘the space is empty, please try again later’!!! Lol. I really am a crack pot (if that is a word) and well, zany at times, dull at times, stupid at times, scared at times, scary in turn at times. Hmm... With all these characteristics bundled up in a single, poor person like me, how the hell do I discover my true character? It’s difficult, to see what I really am, it is much worse then multiple personality, as this is not that case, it is one personality with so much characters. Lol. God help me…don’t make me become crazy trying to discover me. Perhaps you will know me better as you are the one who created me. Lol. But god I have one question to ask, did you create me in a hurry, with a lot of tensions in your mind, that you made me soo complicated to understand. Lol. I think u did just that thing. Don’t you know the dare consequences of it god, look now how much I suffer trying to discover me in my free time? Trying to fight my boredom!!! Lol.

Well I guess, I need to give up discovering myself, or else I will turn into a mental case, if I go on typing crap like this. I am very grateful to the person who reached this stage of the article. Indeed ‘hats off’ to you. You have great patience. Trying to endure crap like this. Lol. Kindly do bear with me if I bored the hell out of you. But in the first place it was your fault to read the blog. You did it in your own free will, and so you cannot curse me if I bored you!! Lol!!

Ok, ok let me put an end do this. All you jobless people go find some useful job and be engaged in it. I am going off to do the same thing!! You know if you are jobless for a long, you tend to lose your sanity like this. See the live example is me out here. Lol!! What are you waiting for, get out of this blog.

Driving people insane and zany as always
Zany child



***Your Personality Profile***

i am nurturing, kind, and lucky.
Like mother nature, i want to help everyone.
i am good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.

A seeker of harmony, i am a natural peacemaker.
i am good natured and people enjoy my company.
i put people at ease and make them feel at home with me

The World's Shortest Personality Test

talking about weirdos


***i am 50% Weird***

Normal enough to know that i am weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

hawaiian name


hawaiian name
***my Hawaiian Name is:***

Keilana Noelani

What's your Hawaiian Name?

people's envy


people's envy
***People Envy my Ingenuity***

i am a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to me for inspiration.
People envy my creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to me - and they usually are!

What Do People Envy About You?

wat cofee r u


wat cofee r u
***i am a Black Coffee***

At my best, i am: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable

At my worst, i am: cheap and angsty

i drink coffee when: i can get my hands on it

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

wat kinda writer


wat kinda writer
***i Should Be a Science Fiction Writer***

my ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet i am from.
And while i may have some problems being "normal," i'll have no problems writing sci-fi.
Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics...
my own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Friday, May 26, 2006

Where is our country heading???

Well, to start with the country is not going to prosper from jobless amateur writers like me. And also lazy people like me, who decide to do a thing 1 day and end up doing that thing a week later, an example is this blog. I wanted to write all these a week back and I could not, not because I was busy or anything, I was too lazy to open MS-Word and type. (lol)

So well coming back to the title where REALLY is our PROUD country heading to? I have no idea. It is not definitely not on the path of development, you may argue against it. But it might in fact be the truth... if u ask me how…continue to read on.

What is happening in our CAPITAL Delhi, some of the most intelligent students are falling victim to ‘lathi charge’! Hello isn’t there ‘right to speak’, isn’t our country a ‘free’, ‘republic’ country. Did we not get freedom from the British way back in 1947? Has not 58 years passed now? Or did we get free ourselves just to enter another episode of the freedom struggle.

Come on do think of it, the young blood, the future of this precious country, is being beaten up for voicing their views. Well, what they are struggling for is indeed a very good cause. They are struggling against reservation. They are struggling not to bring differences between the students on the basis of caste or creed. Well what they need is not reservation but scholarships and more seats. If most seats are reserved for the backward classes, what do the others do? It isn’t true that all people in the backward classes are poor; they are many who are well off in the backward society. While many in the forward classes are poor. So what we need is giving scholarships to poor families and the less salaried and not reservations on the basis of classes.

If this continues, it is true that the cream of the country will go to foreign countries, and give their services there. No one would stay in the homeland, if they are treated like this. The will not want to stay in a country which doesn’t give them opportunities. And it is no use blaming them; they are not patriotic and leave abroad. Indeed they are patriotic, but patriotism alone will not help them to survive in life.

When the whole student community in the country is protesting against reservation, the one great state or should I say city that supported is my good old city ‘Chennai’, well way to go Chennaities. If you question me why they supported it, well most govt. medical colleges in Chennai have been following reservation for almost god knows how many years!! And well, you will be awarded if you find one forward caste student in 1 of these medical colleges. And the plight of CBSE students is even more pathetic in the society. I have so much pride in being a CBSE student. They get only 2% of the seats in the TNPCEE. Even though, they are the intelligent lot than the State Board students. So they head out of the city to national institutes, now with the reservation thing, well where do they head?

Now let’s come to the next issue… the great ‘Da Vinci code’ movie. Well the book came a year back and is one of the best sellers, then did anyone protest. But what is the commotion now. In fact India is not a Christian country, it is a secular country. But still the movie can not be all that bad in our country. When I see the people protesting for it in the ‘idiot box’ I bet you they don’t even know what the movie is about, they just come to protest hearing all the scandalous details about the film. And how could they miss such an opportunity to protest and come on the ‘idiot box’!!

If you want to watch real entertainment go see ‘DD’ when they put live telecast of he parliamentary meetings. It is really so much fun, to see such respectful leaders who we have selected and made them to sit in a very precious position in the parliament. What do they do? Well they break the tables, and go near our honorable speaker in groups and throw tantrums like little children. Is this how they manage our country? Banging on desks, brawling like kids, and the opposition party true to their name opposes to each and every word said by the ruling party in the meeting. Otherwise it wont be fun you see to be an opposing party. They may even oppose the ruling party, when the ruling party accepts what the opposition party is saying. They will oppose by saying, how can they accept what we say, that is not politics, it is a rule that they should not accept what we say, and we will continue opposing saying they are not accepting what we say!!! Otherwise what is the use of our opposing party if they accept everything, we will then have no chance to oppose, and it is all totally wrong?

With these entire plight what exactly comes out as the result is that India will be….

2006 – India is a developing country

2010 – India is a developing country

2015 – India still a developing country

2020 – Still a developing country




2050 – India finally a developing country

Hopefully the above future mustn’t happen to our country
Hopefully we will become a developed country within the next 10 years
The country will be ruled by young bloods
India would become the best country to live in the world
These all will happen only when the plight of the country undergoes a complete transformation.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Mistaken identity

“Oh my god, what have I got myself into” wondered Tanushree. She was going to act like her perfectly identical twin, Anushree to her fiancée, Adithya. Because, Anu had to go to Australia for an important project and Adithya said he would agree for the marriage only after seeing Anu in person and this was the time when he was free. He said it is a life time decision, and it can’t be taken by just seeing the photos and chatting on net and via phone.

Well you may wonder why Tanu has to act like her twin, and they could just say to Adithya that Anu was out of the country, and they could meet after she returns or plan something. You might think this to be an absurd reason, for switching identities for such a crucial thing in ones’ life like marriage. It would lead to fooling the people around them. Well the reason for this decision is that Adithya’s parents did not want Anu to work; they wanted their daughter in law to be a good house wife. But Anu loves her interior deigning work, and she could supplement Adithya’s work as an architect. But they did not agree to it. And they made her leave her job 4 months before marriage.

Well, now you may wonder, that Anu has left her job, now what was this trip to Australia for. Well this was her last project she was assigned 6 months back, and finally the deal had finalized and her company needed her to represent them. So they did not bother to explain the situation to Adithya’s family. When he mailed Anu he was flying down to Chennai from Bangalore she was aleady in Australia. So she had no option but to beg Tanu to act like her, as they were perfect identical twins. Tanu was completely against the idea, and said it was ridiculous that she can’t act like Anu to her fiancée, had she gone nuts. But with so much of persuasion from Anu and her parents, she agreed at last.

Here starts our story…

Tanu was waiting in the lobby of ‘god’s residence’ where Adithya was staying, she was cursing Anu under her breath that she had to pay back her sometime for this embarrassing act they had pulled up. She almost got blasted in her office “day today” where she was working as a journalist, that she couldn’t cover the evening story because she is going home early. She was very nervous to meet Adithya whom she had only seen in the photo and has never even spoke to him or mailed him. This was sounding weird, she had tangled herself into a mess, and now it was difficult to entangle now.

He came down the stairs, in a white T-shirt and jean. He looked….she couldn’t express how he looked in words. She stood there staring at him. He looked even more handsome in person, than the photo. He waved at her with a smile, she didn’t dare move. She was rooted to her place. He came to her and waved before her face
”hey Anu, what’s up”. She coughed back and looked around her. He said “Anu, I’ m talking to you only, are you there in this world”. She finally found her voice “yes, sorry, hi” she stammered. He mocked at her saying “this indeed happened to girls when they see me” and gave a chuckle. She managed to smile. Then he said we could grab a bite and led her to the restaurant.

He asked her whether she felt bad for leaving her job. Tanu was about to say she would never leave her job, just to get married but bit back her tongue just in time and replied “ugh... at times, but it doesn’t matter anymore does it”. They had a wonderful dinner with all the candlelight and all; she felt how lucky Anu was. She wished that the person sitting in front of her was her fiancée and not Anu’s, “oh my god, I mustn’t think like that, then I can never forgive me” she said this without knowing that she did so, and Adithya gave her a puzzled look and asked her “what’s wrong”. She stammered again and said “nothing”. Well a girl would stammer a little if a guy squeezed her hand to assure her everything in this world was right. She than worked her hand out of his grasp. It did feel wonderful to have his hands on hers; she again cursed her not to have such thoughts and reminded her again and again that this was Anu’s fiancée and not hers. She had to work on this thought harder she guessed.

Then she reached home, she recalled the events in the evening, and it was all so pleasant, except for the fact that Adithya said she looked so different in person; she was worried that he would have found out their act. But then she still had 6 more days to go, in which she would be hidden under the identity of Anu. Tanu then sat to do her story for ‘day today’, which her editor wanted on his desk sharp at 9:00 am tomorrow. “Oh my god” she said again, Adithya wanted her to wear the watch that he had sent to her on their birthday to Anu. Anu had taken the watch, what was she supposed to do now. She panicked. There has to be some way, she wondered…

They were meeting for lunch that day at “dhabba express”...

She reached there 5 minutes late. He was waiting for her by the car and went in with her. When he saw that she was not wearing the watch that he brought her, and asked her about it, she replied that the watch needed a change of battery so it was in the watch shop, and she said she was sorry that she couldn’t wear it. He said it was ok. They then talked about nothing much in the next half an hour. He again asked her if she missed her job. Tanu did not know what to reply. He continued saying that it was because of his elder brother’s broken marriage that they did not want a working daughter in law. His brother’s wife was working and had an affair with her boss and left his brother, due to which his parents were against that idea.

Tanu then argued against it saying not all women are like that. When finally Adithya said he was sorry, he did not know that she missed her job so much, he indeed liked her work at the hotel pasha, which was her best according to him. Tanu did not know much about Anu’s work, so she just nodded to all that Adithya was saying. He said infact she and her twin sister were ideal working women, he knew what a good interior designer Anu was and what an eminent journalist Tanu was. He said he had read her articles in the magazine, it was very good. Tanu went on to describe her work in detail. When Adithya caught her off-guard saying that, she knew more about her sister’s work than her own. Tanu gave a stupid grin and covered her mistake of blurting too much about her by saying that, indeed she and her twin shared a great relationship. They knew each other inside out, and had this invisible connection between them.

She then went on to talk about her relationship with her sister so far, and how they switched their identities for an exam, and the fun they had fooling people by switching identities. It was all going good, when suddenly Adithya laughed and said “hopefully you have not switched identities now and fooling me”. Tanu went pale on her face, while Adithya said he was just kidding, he knew they wouldn’t do it. At last Tanu understood he was just joking and not serious. She found her voice.

Adithya called her that evening saying that, he wanted to see both Anu and Tanu together. Tanu said it wasn’t possible, as according to her Tanu had gone to Australia. When Adithya asked her how come the articles she was writing are published in the magazine daily? She replied that this was the 21st century, and Tanu’s articles reach the magazine through mail.

After talking to him, Tanu felt so bad for fooling him. She thought she could say the truth to him, when she asked Anu about it, Anu begged her not to spoil her marriage. So Tanu kept quiet, but she always felt guilty to fool him, and cursed herself.

The act they pulled went smooth for 4 days, then when Adithya and Tanu went to hotel pasha. The hotel manager on seeing Tanu enquired about Anu and how she was doing in Australia. Tanu tried to evade his question, but he was persistent and required an answer. He wanted Anu to visit him for decorating one room. When Tanu tried to tell him, she was Anu and Tanu had gone to Australia, aroused doubts in Adithya. The hotel manager half convinced that he was talking to Anu led her to the room, which needed redecorating. Tanu knew nothing about this redecorating business; she went to the room and embarrassed herself telling all the wrong things. All this time Adithya looked at her confusingly, not understanding what was happening. At last Tanu said she couldn’t concentrate on the job, and pretended she had a headache and said she would leave now, and come back tomorrow.

Adithya left her at home without a word. He wanted sometime to think over what happened in the evening. From the first day, Anu seemed to be a different person, than the one whom he had spoken on phone and the net. Tanu went home worried to the core. She wondered what would happen if Adithya found their little act? Would he break the engagement? She had a severe headache when she hit the beds that night.

When she went to her office the next day, it was only to find out Adithya standing in the lobby. She decided that this was the end. When she reached him, he glared at her. He welcomed her as ‘Anu what a pleasant surprise to find you in your sister’s office’. She pleaded to him, not to say anything now. She asked him to go the car park, and said she would be there in 10 minutes, and then they could go to some place and discuss this issue. He agreed reluctantly, as there was no other option for him.

She got permission for the day off that day, and met him in the car park. He was furious and both of them did not talk till they reached the drive in restaurant. She got down, and he ordered them both coffee, and demanded her for an explanation. Why did they switch identities? Where was Anu now?

She explained everything from the first to him in a calm way, and said she was totally against this idea, but they made her do it for Anu’s sake. And pleaded to him, that this was not Anu’s fault and she understood that he was angry, anyone would be. But asked him to forgive them this time, saying it won’t happen again. Adithya reasoned with her, how she could be so sure, that this won’t happen again. He said Anu had lied to him before marriage and how could he trust her after this. Tanu tried hard to pacify him, saying he could talk this directly to Anu, who would be coming tomorrow, but Adithya said he had made his decision; the marriage would be called off.

At the Airport…

Anu had landed in Chennai. She came down the stairs that was when the blood from her face drained. She saw both Adithya and Tanu waiting for her. She couldn’t read the expression in Tanu’s face. She then thought, maybe she had invited Adithya to receive her, maybe he believed that it was Tanu coming from Australia. And they had come to receive her. She thought she was right when Adithya said “welcome back Tanu”. But was stopped by Tanu’s “please Adithya”. Anu was cofused, she looked from Tanu’s face to Adithya’s face. When finally Adithya turned to her and said “why did you do this Anu”. That was when she could hear her heart beating hard in her ears.

She blinked and said “what are you saying” to Adithya. When he raised a hand and asked her to stop acting, he said her tiny little act did not work out anymore, and he was calling off the marriage and walked off. Anu could not believe her ears, she ran after him saying she had an explanation for all this. While Tanu just slumped back in a chair, muttering to her that this was too much for her act.

Tanu and Anu both reached home. Anu was crying all the way home. She even cursed Tanu that she did not act properly while Tanu thought to herself, this was the most ridiculous thing she had done in her life. They reached home and repeated the news to their parents. They were so worried about Anu and went to console her, leaving Tanu alone. Tanu said to the now empty room in her house “thanks god, you did help me a lot to break Anu’s marriage and now she blames me for that” and she hit the chair with her leg out of frustration and went to her room.

Tanu got up in the middle of the night all sweaty. She had been dreaming about Adithya. She wondered what he was doing now, and regretted she would never meet him again. She then went to sleep with a vow that she will not think about the person who broke her sister’s marriage.

Adithya couldn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t stop dreaming about her. No it was not Anu he was dreaming about, it was Tanu. He always liked her articles and was in fact so happy that he was going to become her brother in law a week back. The world had turned upside down in the past week. That week was the most happiest in his life. He thought it was ridiculous to think of her. He had nothing to do with their family. They had lied to him and fooled him. But deep in his heart, something said it was not Tanu’s fault.

He was going back home the day after, he thought he would see Tanu before he left. Then he decided against it. He will never meet her again in his life. But he very much wanted to meet her. He was thinking what she was doing now.

Tanu was thinking the same. She wanted to meet him before he left. She found no fault in his outburst, only Anu was cursing him. That because of him, he left her job and everything, and now he walks out of the marriage. Tanu did not support him, as each time Anu said this she threw accusing glances at her.

The day Adithya was going to leave Chennai came; Tanu was restless in her office. He was going to leave in 2 hours. She decided she will go and meet him for one last time. And left her office to go to the station, at the same time, Adithya started to go to her office. She reached the station and could not find him. When Adithya reached her office, they said she had gone on half a day’s permission. He went back to the station disappointed.

Tanu seeing him walking dejectedly towards the station, called him excitedly. Adithya hearing his name being called searched the crowd of faces in the station. He finally found the face to which the voice belonged. And gave a silly lop sided grin at her. He approached her. They did not say anything for a few seconds.



They both said at the same time and laughed at it. They were grinning like idiots at each other. Finally Adithya said “so what’s up’. She smiled at him and said she wanted to meet him for one last time and thank him for the wonderful week they had. He asked her if that was the true reason she was here. She did not reply back. He lifted her face towards him and said “do I have to believe that”. She just looked at him; he then suddenly kissed her gently.

At last Tanu pulled back and said that they were in a public place. He laughed and let her go. And then he proposed to her, and asked her to marry him, or else he would become a saint. She laughed and said “definitely Adithya, but on one condition”, Adithya said “shoot that one”. She said she will not leave her job. He laughed and said, he will make sure of that, as he himself was a follower of her writings and articles, and for no reason will she stop writing for the magazine.

They married 4 months later. Anu said she did not mind, and it was her fault and she had again started to work, and she hoped Tanu will be happy with him. Adithya had made his parents accept a working daughter in law.

Thus, there at last I gave a happy ending for the first time….

DReamZ-chapters 1-4

You are falling, falling, falling…..and then u wake up. This is a very common dream and is said to symbolize insecurities and anxiety. Something in ur life is essentially out of control and there is nothing u can do to stop it. Another interpretation is that u hav a sense of failure abt something. Maybe u r not doing well in ur classes or at work and are afraid u r going to be expelled or fired. Again, u feel that u can’t control the situation.

With that note let me start my second story…..

Chapter 1-A dull start.

Arjun was the star player in the game. He had scored the maximum points for his team. There was a huge roaring among the crowds. Well he was a part of the basket ball team and it was the final match in the district between his college and their arch rivals’ national college, Chennai. They were going smoothly towards victory. When, suddenly arjun was hit in his back that he fell down. He was falling, falling, falling….he didn’t seem to stop..


“Ouch” he groaned, he had hit the ground, well it wasn’t the basketball ground in which he had fallen. The ground here was smooth. He slowly blinked his eyes open. He was home, he had been dreaming all this while. The talking clock in his room shouted ‘the time is 7’o clock am’. He sat upright on the floor. He stared back again to the clock. Indeed the time was 7’o clock. O mi god. He had slept a straight 12 hours. He was doomed. He had to report for practice in his college at 7:30 am. And here he was jus getting up. He rushed to brush his teeth and had a quick shower. The time now was 7:15 am. He rushed out of the house, while his mother called back at him to eat breakfast. He replied back he had no time, and rushed on his bike. If their was a meager traffic he cud make it on time. The college was a lousy 20 minutes travel from home. He drove like a mad man, inviting accusing glares from the other vehicle goers on the road.

But indeed all his efforts were in vain. He reached college at 7:40 am .His friend naveen seshadari the nerdy friend of his was sitting in the bench in the play ground engrossed in a management book and waiting for him. That was the usual routine for both of them, naveen also comes early to college to give company to arjun when he was engaged in practice and he would be catching up on some study notes which his usual study timetable couldn’t accommodate. naveen was not a sports geek, to him what mattered was marks, marks, and more marks. He will not compromise anything for it. But arjun was the exact opposite to him. How these guys ended up as friends is god’s own mystery.

Naveen waved up to him with a ‘hey man, u r late today. Be prepared to get screwed’. Arjun nodded back. The coach looked at him accusingly, and penalized him to run 5 rounds around the entire campus and come back to practice. Well the day was getting worse for arjun. He ran, hopped, and walked the entire 5 rounds around the campus. He reached back sweating like a pig. He had missed most of the practice, so it was no use joining the others in practice. So the coach instructed him to do push ups. Cursing the coach under his breath he went to do push ups.

Life was on a rough path for him. All with the stuff to be done in college if u r in the final year, he was a b.com student. And preparing for CAT exams for getting an MBA seat in a prestigious institute which was just around the corner in the coming week, and moreover playing his favorite sport basket ball, yearning to add his name to the college history along with other previous players on winning the district match for the college which was in the beginning of the next month.

He was almost exhausted doing push ups when a car entered the campus. It stopped next to naveen in the playground, and the door opened. A pair of wonderful feet well not just wonderful feet it was a woman’s feet was all arjun could see doing his push ups. He was half way through his push ups, when he strained his neck to look up. He almost tumbled and hit the ground. Another door opened on the other side and a much older guy got down and their department head came to see them and asked naveen to escort the girl somewhere, arjun couldn’t hear everything clearly, once the hod went and the girl saw the car back out the campus, naveen signaled to arjun to reach class, and walked away with her. arjun yearned to be in naveen’s place, well he was dreaming walking beside the girl when the coach’s voice brought him to reality. The coach called him to sign in for the final match. He signed and the coach called it a day and dispersed them. Arjun took a quick shower and rushed back to class.

He caught up with naveen, who said that he took the girl to the department. Before he could enquire more professor gupta entered the class. It was his most dreaded period ‘performance management’. Which they lovingly called as ‘pm’ or ‘pure monotony’. The professor warned them to be ready with the projects by the end of the week. Arjun, naveen, swetha, and anu were in their group. They were short of one member, but the professor asked them to proceed with their projects with 4 members itself. Their project was about employee morale. The professor proceeded with his lesson when they were interrupted by a sweet voice saying “excuse me”. They all looked towards the door.

Chapter2-meeting deepthi.

It was the same girl they saw in the morning. Professor gupta said “welcome, ms.deepthi” and invited her into class and introduced her to the class as a new student who had transferred from a Bangalore college and has come here to do her final year with them as her father got transferred. The professor asked everyone to help her to catch up with what she had missed and asked her to take a seat; she took the seat in the front row.

All this while arjun had his heart in his mouth, his mouth was slightly hanging open. When swetha sitting next to him nudged him to stop staring at the new girl like that. He couldn’t concentrate for the next half hour of professor gupta’s class. He was looking at the front row. Now he saw her better when she entered class she had a cute heart shaped face. And didn’t wear much make up. But still she looked cute. Now as she sat down he could see only the back of her head. She had lovely hair which she held it up in a pony tail.

At the end of the class, professor gupta called out anu to meet him after class. When anu went to meet him, professor gupta said that they could include deepthi in their project and offer her all kinds of help. When anu said this to her team members on returning to class, arjun was overjoyed, and made swetha and anu to promise that they would befriend deepthi and invite her to have lunch with them. As they found out she wasn’t keen on talking to guys and was a bit shy. Swetha commented something had come into arjun from the moment he saw deepthi. They didn’t have a chance to catch up with deepthi as they were put through 2 major classes one after the other after the ‘pm’ class. Finally, the much awaited break for lunch came.

Swetha and anu went up to deepthi to introduce themselves, and invite her to lunch and to discuss about their projects. Deepthi said she was glad for their company, as she did not know absolutely anything of this place, and it was so different from her college in banglore which was a girl’s college. And being studied in a convent and a girl’s college throughout her life, she was a bit worried about mingling with the guys around her. swetha and anu assured her that the guys wont gobble her up, and added silently most importantly arjun will not gobble her up.

They accompanied her to the cafeteria where the naveen and arjun had caught their usual place but now with an extra chair. Depthi was introduced to them, and arjun did stammer a bit, seeing her so close made him dumbstruck. She chose to sit between swetha and anu, and said that she had brought her lunch from home, as her mother thought that she would not get adjusted to the canteen food. She observed that the others around her were used to the canteen food and they said they occasionally did bring food from home. Naveen, swetha and anu started rating the canteen food and how good they were. And how one must be prepared for a tug of war match with chapattis. This made deepthi laugh, and she looked even cuter. And they went about their stupid projects, and warned about the professors whom she must dread and topped the list was professor gupta, as they said he may be nice, but underneath he was a monster in himself. They also told her about the other professors whose lectures she will enjoy or dread and the grading system here.

Arjun was silent all this while, except observing all the words spoken by deepthi, when deepthi asked others if he was always so quite, the others made a funny chuckle and arjun himself gave deepthi a silly grin. He gathered from her that her father was the GM of zine technologies. And has been transferred here, and the guy who came in the morning was her brother. Then swetha asked her if she wanted to go to most fun filled place in college. The guys started to groan. Deepthi asked wat cud be more fun then the cafeteria, wen anu replied the girls rest room was more fun and they wud escort her there. The guys started to protest when swetha asked them to go to class and they wud meet them there, and the next minute all 3 girls disappeared. Naveen and arjun took their bags and walked towards the comp lab as they had today two sessions of InfoTech. Naveen shoved arjun playfully with a remark that his hormones were working overtime. Arjun decided to ignore the remark. By the time professor mehra entered class the girls had reached the class and was giggling uncontrollably. And when naveen asked them wat they were laughing for, they replied it was a girl’s thing. When arjun and naveen stared at each other with a sigh. This did happen always with them, when the girls shared a private joke; they were left out as usual.

At last the two hour session ended, when deepthi said that she wud come to swetha’s house and it was near her house. When arjun jumped in saying he too will come to swetha’s house as he had to look through some of her notes or something, saying his house was also near swetha’s house. When swetha glared at him knowingly understanding the reason why he decided to drop at her house, it wasn’t typical pf him. When naveen commented something really had gotten into him a little loud, that arjun hit him. And then naveen and anu dispersed saying they had their charted accountancy classes in the evening. While the other three decided to meet at swetha’s house in an hour.

Chapter 3- dreaded CAT exams

From the visit to swetha’s house arjun had learnt that deepthi was also planning to do MBA and was appearing in the CAT exams the day after. So apart from copying the class notes which was helped by swetha and him, she also enquired about the exam venue, and how to reach there from home. She had also asked them why they weren’t doing CA like naveen and anu. To which he replied, he didn’t have the time all with the basket ball practice. That was when she said indeed she saw him that morning sweating out there in the ground. And said that her brother was also a state basket player, enquired him whether he was playing for the state and all that. While swetha said that she did not do CA as it was too heavy for her brain, and there was indeed no need for it as her family would marry her off to some eligible bachelor by the end of the year and only for her wish was she allowed to write the CAT exam, she did not build any hopes on her futher studies and this mention of marriage brought astonishment to deepthi’s face, when she asked swetha if she did not regret the decision of her parents, to which swetha shrugged that there wasn’t a choice for her except if she gets good marks in her CAT.

Arjun on reaching home was recalling all these events, deepthi was again fetched by the car that dropped her in swetha’s home, as for him his house was behind swetha’s so he walked back. When deepthi leaved, swetha warned arjun to watch his step, as deepthi’s brother was too possessive of her, and indeed he was a big man for arjun to handle. He had noticed that and also that deepthi did not give much information about her.

He dreamt of her when he at last fell asleep, he had 7:30 practice again tomorrow, and naveen had made him promise that they would do the sample CAT exam papers in college. The next day was usual; fortunately he reached college on time, except that now naveen was missing, when he messaged naveen he got the reply that he was down with high fever and asked him to listen intently to all classes as he needed to help him the next day. He saw deepthi had also come early, to meet some professor and complete her registration process. He waved at her with a silly lop sided grin, as she looked beautiful sitting in the bench. She also waved back at him and smiled.

Now arjun was muttering to himself not to behave like a school kid who had seen his first crush, a smile sent a wave through him. He was uprooted to the place staring at her, the coach’s voice brought him to his senses that he was standing like an idiot in the same place for almost 5 minutes, and still she was smiling at him. He traced his step back to the ground, when the coach snarled at him whether he was looking for a auspicious time to enter the ground for practice, and warned him that the final match was only 3 weeks away, and he mustn’t loose his focus as the match was crucial.

He finished practice and took a quick shower and came to the bench where deepthi was sitting and drooped on the space next to her, trying to be casual all this time, but he could hear in his heart beating in his ears. He asked her how she was today and they sat in silence for a few minutes, when the campus around them filled with students, all the heads of the students were immersed in the books, as they all were seriously preparing for the CAT exam tomorrow. Deepthi suggested maybe they should also do the same, and arjun nodded and took out the sample question papers, and handed to her. She took it from him, their hands brushed in the movement, and arjun felt electric sparks in him the movement her hand brushed against him, he told himself not to behave like a silly kid, but he could not control himself. He was deep in thought when deepthi called him again “arjun”, he shrugged back to reality and asked her what she was saying, while she said whether they cud go to class and discuss the papers. To which he nodded weakly, and got on his feet.

As they were going towards the class, they saw swetha approaching and waited for her to join them. The walked into class together and were informed that their first session was free as the professor was absent. This news was greeted with joy among the students. When they were on the point of completing the discussion of the 1st paper, anu came almost running into the class, and slowed down when she saw no professor in the class, and waved to them and came to sit next to deepthi. She said she got held up in her CA class. They continued to discuss the papers, but arjun wasn’t much interested in it, and was either staring at deepthi or engrossed in his own thoughts. That he had to be brought back to reality by anu’s nudges to concentrate, as this was the most important thing in life.

Finally the day ended with everyone getting excited about the exam tomorrow, for which arjun grunted as it was only an exam. But swetha said it was gonna decide everyone’s life and warned him not to take it lightly to which he did not agree. He then took leave from the girls and had planned to leave to naveen’s place. On reaching naveen’s place, one look at naveen told him he might not make it tomorrow. So arjun started pacifying the near hysterical naveen that it was just an exam for which he had started preparing a long while ago, unlike him. He need not worry. But naveen was not consoled, but took the tablets and sat down to study. Many a time, he caught arjun either unaware or dreaming and not concentrating on his books. He warned him, that an MBA degree was a must in his life, and that he mustn’t lose it by being careless. He also warned him that his hormones chose the wrong time to over work. Arjun protested that it wasn’t his hormones, but he was deeply moved by deepthi, that he might fall for her.

Naveen went to his all marks-no games lecture, and how love brings failure to a person, and it did not make sense, that he did not know much about deepthi, how cud he fall for her. And went to how his parents trusted him, he has got to earn a name for himself and not let them down. Arjun listened to everything with a grunt, and went back to study. He then left naveen’s place, in the night to go home and promised him he will go and revise everything he had studied. And on reaching home he went to his room and hit the covers without even changing his clothes.

The day dawned brightly, sun rays filled arjun’s room through his small window. He got up with an effort, he thought maybe he will go through his notes, but decided against it and went to get ready for the exam. When he reached the venue, everyone was already there. He saw all 4 of them engrossed in a book and went over to meet them. Naveen was a bit pale, but he looked determined. Anu was shivering. Swetha was pacifying everyone that it was after all an exam for which they have prepared all these days. Deepthi did not speak all this while, but looked a bit put off by something. As for arjun, he was completely and totally blank; he did not feel anything that he was going to write an important exam. All this while he had not bothered about the exam, but now his friends before him, made him feel uneasy he felt a sickening feeling in his stomach that he will not be able to make it. Suddenly he saw his future loom in the dark.

The bell rang indicating them to move towards their classes. Only he, deepthi and anu were in the same class the others were separated. He had pleaded to anu to help him in the exam. But anu hesitated saying that it wud be totally wrong, and did he think of the consequences if they got caught. He assured her they won’t get caught and asked her to help him, she said half heartedly that she wud try her best. They entered the class and took their respective seats. Anu was sitting adjacent to arjun. Once the papers were given, arjun saw anu asking him something, which he cud not make out. Then himself decided that she wud be asking him if he was sure that he wanted to do this that is to copy. Then he nodded to her indicating a yes. The next three hours ticked away slowly, and anu had helped him with almost all the questions as they were multiple choice questions and they had already decided the gestures for indicating the options-‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’, and ‘d’. The final bell rang and they dispersed out.

He went to thank anu and pleaded her not to mention his unfair practice to deepthi. When anu again asked him, whether he got set 3, to which arjun blinked. Anu told him I asked before starting to write and u said yes. With haste arjun removed his question paper from his bag. He was doomed. It was set 2 and well the world was spinning around him now. Anu looked at him with sympathy not knowing what to do. The others came around discussing the paper saying that it was not a very bad paper but a standard one. Arjun was still engrossed in his misery that he did not see deepthi pat him and ask wat was wrong and how was the paper. It was then that the others turned to look at him, that he was on the verge of tears, before naveen came near him to ask him something. He fled from the place to the parking, to his bike and rushed back home.

Naveen ran after him, and went to his home. He was in a state of complete chaos when naveen saw him. Naveen asked him wat went wrong, when he said that he had completely screwed his MBA admission seat and said about the exam and all the different sets which he did not know. He did not have the courage now to face his parents; he asked naveen why everything was happening to him alone. Naveen wanted to shout at him, saying that it was his own entire fault. But he decided against it as this wasn’t the time and he had to deal into the current problems like facing his parents, deciding his future. So naveen tried to console him saying that he would not have done that bad as he was imagining, he will get through it. But he had no hope. naveen then asked him to go and rest as he looked so dreadful now. Naveen said that everything will be alright and asked him to forget about the entire incident and come to college the next day and left him. He had a dreamless sleep today.

Chapter 4 – is Arjun a big time loser?

Well Arjun dreaded to face his friends the next day. When he dropped in class after his basket ball practice, he was not welcome to class that day by his friends except Naveen. Deepthi did not heed his arrival and pretended as if he ceased to exist. This brought a mental blow to arjun. Later, he heard from Naveen that Anu had indeed spilled the beans to Swetha and Deepthi. At lunch,everything around him turned hostile, every one absorbed their meal in silence. Even the other students around them commented on how quite their group has become, which was usually playing some prank or other in the cafeteria. One of the guys in his basket ball team rushed to the table where Arjun was sitting.

The guy asked Arjun to hurriedly change to his tracks, as the coach had decided to have a selection game for the final match and it included him also in the last minute as he wasn’t nowadays concentrating much on the game. This was another blow to Arjun, as he always took for granted, he would be in the team as he was good at it, and the coach never asked him to play in the selection match so far except in the first year of course. So he slid low in his seats, at last all the others around him asked him to go and change and get ready. He got unsteadily on his feet, glanced around everyone and moved towards the change room.

He muttered hard under his breath that he would definitely get selected. He jogged along with everyone around the ground. The coach blew his whistle to stop them running, and asked them to take sides and form two teams. Then he signaled the match to begin. It was a hard game. Till almost the half game, Arjun had not scored a ball yet. Every time he tried to focus his CAT exam came in front of him and the accusing look that Deepthi gave him today when he entered class. He was losing complete concentration. He tried really hard. He had to get selected, if his academic scores were going to blow, at least he had to make a career out of sports. The final match was important.

He then heard his 4 friends cheer at him. He heard Naveen’s encouraging yell, not so typical of the nerd Naveen was. He turned around to see them on the stands. Swetha, Anu and Deepthi were cheering for him. Seeing Deepthi cheer for him, made all his energy bubble up. He was grateful that his friends were here after all he had done, even though the coach disapproved of their cheers. He then focused on the basket, and dived to get the ball from the competing team member, and headed to the basket, and with a little push from his hand, the ball was in the air. It landed on the rim of the basket, circling, circling, and circling at last it fell in the basket. There were yelps of joy from his friends. The coach nodded disapprovingly at their yells.

At the end of the game he had almost scored 4 goals and the coach said he would have to practice more to be still on the team, and increased his practice hours. He had to give his full concentration to the game, if he wanted the final match he warned. Arjun then walked back towards his friends. They were cheering and congratulating him. He felt proud to have them as his friends. Even Deepthi, suggested they could all do with a treat, after all the stress the few days. She invited everyone home, and also said they could discuss their projects on ‘employee morale’. They could choose the company in which Deepthi’s father was working for it. They all agreed and said they would all meet Deepthi in 3 hours.

Those 3 hours felt like a life time for Arjun. He had almost changed 3 to 4 shirts. Calling Naveen from time to time and asking him suggestions on what to wear and stuff like that. Naveen got frustrated and blasted him not to behave like a kid. It was just a treat and Deepthi had not called them for their engagement party. Well, wait what engagement party; Deepthi did not even know Arjun was in love with her!! Shouldn’t that be the first move?

Well this made Arjun think. What if she rejects him? What if she thinks he is a big time loser? He can’t face a rejection. He was too fragile to accept it. He then thought sooner or later, he got to choose. He got to ask her. But still he was thinking of taking the easy way out. He then decided. He will ask her out today at her house.

He reached her house on time. He was let in by her father. A very strict looking man he was. He did not approve of having guests at home. When Deepthi introduced all 4 of them to her father, He through a look of disapproval at Arjun, when she said he was a basket ball player. He indeed liked Naveen more, when he heard he was a good student and doing CA. he said he liked boys, who were responsible towards their life. He did not approve of those people, who did nothing towards academics, but wasted their time playing sports.

Arjun sulked at this remark throughout the evening. When they were leaving home, Deepthi said she was sorry for what her father said. She asked him, if he would be free the next day. They could go somewhere alone, to make up for what her father said. She said she really felt sorry for him. When she was saying all this, her father came in. He warned Arjun to keep his distance from her; he said she would not go out with Arjun tomorrow. Whatever he said about guys being responsible, Arjun deserved it and there was no need for Deepthi to make up to Arjun for what he said. He also added that he did not want a loser like Arjun to hang out with his daughter.

Well, so much for Arjun’s plan to ask deepthi out. Now when she herself was willing to come out with him, her father fired them back. He knew now, it was going to be a tough time facing Deepthi. For the next few days, he kept his distance from her. Even when she tried to come and talk to him. He gave one excuse or the other, saying he was busy. Nowadays, he found himself sleeping in class, after the long hours of basket ball practice. More often he felt himself dreaming of falling. Very often, he jerked awake in class, after sleeping. He was sent out many times to wash his face for sleeping in class.

Thus he was growing insecurities and anxiety to a great extent. His life was totally out of control. He started behaving in an immature way. He often frowned in class. He seldom hanged out with his friends. He shouted at them most of the time, when they tried to help him. He was becoming scared of his life that he could not be in any persons company.


Well this isn’t fiction…… it isn’t a story, I can probably call this is how my life would end up as.

“The looks of Rahul dravid, the charm of shah rukh khan, voice of S.P.B or Hariharan, a writing skill like chetan baghat and probably the brains of Vishwanathan anand is what would make my ideal guy” she often told her friends. But when she met ‘A’ who had a heart like none other, nothing else mattered.

MR.RIGHT what was?

Well in arranged marriages, I’ve so far seen of my cousins. They were given 30 golden minutes to decide their own future! What a scary thought!

Well, in school and colleges, we used to discuss how our respective Mr. Right’s would have to be. All the girls would get together at break or at the foyer where prayer was conducted in the early morning hours before classes and talk what not! Topping all discussions was this thing about Mr. Right, and then to the gossip on how our parents would react to a guy of different caste/creed/religion blah blah blah…..

Thinking back at how I defined Mr. Right, I can now say that I stressed too much on physical traits….. I had a million conditions, including some about the guy’s name – it should be something like karthik, arjun, aravind, or aadhi…. Also which sun sign he must belong to – Taurus or Scorpio or Libra or Pisces was the favored ones by me. I wanted the guy’s name to be pleasing to my ears, and that it should sound good, nice along with my name…. though those mentioned above doesn’t that much good along with my name ‘vidya’….. Still can’t define what that pleasing meant.

My first and foremost condition was that he must sport a clean shaven look – this was the prior 1 requirement. This was very different from the likes of my friends. Who thought moustaches and beards were a sign of manliness!!!! Though at times I do like the unshaven look, u know the rugged look, or the cowboy look. But only for a certain period. If the rugged look is there for more than a certain period, then he would give me an impression of a ‘devdas’ or a man filled with sorrow. I somehow always found clean shaven guys look cuter. I was (and still am) crazy about the likes of Rahul dravid, Shah rukh khan, Aamir khan, Madhavan, and lastly and recently upen patel etc. who had whatsoever no hair on their faces. They looked as cute as ever. Thus this deepened my desire against moustache guys.

The next condition was that, he must have wavy hair. I go crazy over soft smooth hairdos. My guy must sport this healthy hair which must tempt me to run my fingers through it and tousle it fondly. When shampooed, the hair must shine and glow; it is a huge turn on to me.

The next condition is that he must have this athletic build – he must be a little more than lean. Well also he must be a bit chubby, that I can punch his cheeks and he must be well as I said athletic build, he must’ve a strong body – but here to I don’t mean flexing up muscles like fighters, I hate muscles bulging out of their hands. Overall he must be normal like a man which would make me vulnerable and make me melt in his arms (that’s what a guy is supposed to do right).

The next condition is firm and broad shoulders, as I already stated it mustn’t bulge out with muscles. It must be firm enough to hold me back and be able to console me in my bad times. It should provide me full comfort and complete protection.

Also, he must have a great, deep, husky, awesome voice which is the greatest weakness over me. I completely melt hearing a deep baritone voice. All my crushes have great voices, actually that was the primary reason why they were my crushes!!! He must be able to sing and be able to play a musical instrument preferably a flue or guitar. This maybe what I call romantic.

The guy must be a doctor or an architect (I don’t know y I stated this condition, maybe because I like their line of work).he must either construct buildings or destruct diseases. But he must not be from the commerce field. (Well this condition may change later).

He must either play basketball, football or cricket. I would love to have a small basket ball court in my house. Even though, I don’t know to play the game. Maybe if my guy knows he would teach me some day.

He must be just 2 or 3 years older to me, not more than that. He must have a perfect dressing sense, which is perfect for every occasion.

Well he must be good in drawing and painting. As a painter myself, I would like company if at times, my mood obliges and makes me paint.

His eyes must be my greatest attraction. I always prefer these jet black eyes, and he must emote with his eyes, there must be a glint or a spark in his eyes.

Well the most important condition, our heights should match each other. I’m just 5’2 or 5’3 so think yourself of the suitable height.

Well, when I told this whole list of conditions to my friends. The saw me with wide eyes, and said that I’m expecting a bit too much from life. Whatsoever, these were my expectations for my perfect Mr. Right.


I’m sure now seeing the faces of my friends’ reality would definitely dawn on me in 3 – 4 years. My parents would fix my marriage with some eligible bachelor. Let us assume that this eligible bachelor is Mr. A, who (no prizes for guessing) would just match a meager amount of my expectations.

Well how exactly would be my Mr. Right turn out?

Let us take a journey into my future imagination that would or would not happen in 3 – 4 years up the lane.

Mr. .Right how it would turn out

Well, the name won’t be one that I won’t like, it won’t be old fashioned or traditional, it may not just suit my taste. And I would decide that I would name one of my sons’ one of those names and make the life of another girl like me better!!!

As for the moustache, it would turn out to be his important asset in his life, he would infact spend a lot of time grooming it as if, it were a prized possession. He would have grown it so well, that it would fill half his face. But then maybe seriously he couldn’t afford to shave it as it may attribute to half his weight – (this may attribute to how athletic build he is!!!).

He maybe just half the size along my X – axis or maybe even lesser, that we may look like laurel and hardy in our wedding, and everyone who came would say to me that, my supreme ‘responsibilty’ was to make him put on some weight. As if I would be waiting for the responsibility to be given! But, I would be modest in saying that I would do a commendable job of it, that within 6 months of our marriage his pants would become tighter, so much for my culinary skills! (Which I suppose would have to start learning within these 3 – 4 years to face any such challenges if it may arise).

Well. As for the wavy hair part, it would resemble one of my painting brushes which have not been washed for 6 months!!!............I expected my guy to sing, he would sing, infact he would be very good at it that I make sure, he did not even hum with the CD playing. His voice would become soo emotional when he sings that it would look like I was torturing him day in and day out!!

Well, as or the profession – he would a software engineer who is a workaholic, working for almost 20 hrs a day, that I would be left in my house talking to the walls all day long.

As far as my craze to basketball and cricket is concerned, he would turn out to be a person who only jogs and walk in the tread mill that to it would be after so much compulsion from me!!!

And as far as his painting skills, he would be a person who I will make sure that he does not come near my painting materials. Who knows, he might even mistake my colors tubes to be tooth paste!!! And his eyes do speak, but through a thick frame of glasses.

But, how will I end up marrying such a guy with all my conditions.

How would he have managed to sweep me of my feet that have to be known to him?

It maybe, because of his rarer traits. He would have been a guy who does not smoke or drink even for social reasons. He would have had a commendable sense of humor. He would have been a patient listener, nodding to all the crap I talk and torture people. He would be a person, who seldom gets angry, and it would be me doing all the rattling at home, he would let me blow off my steam. He would have been a wonderful mind reader; he would know what I am thinking at one time and what I need.

Well what I’m trying to say that is that I may compromise on the physical qualities but definitely not the mental qualities. Then he would not be my Mr. Right but my Mr. Rightest!!!

Her LOVE for him was soo strong...

The house was in mourning. It was filled with persons who had not come to this house for the past 5 years. Theirs was an intercaste marriage, and thus earning the opposition from both sides of family, they have been left alone. They no longer went to their families. All they had in the past 5 years was each other, and for the past 4 years their lovely daughter ‘kirti’.

Nidhi sat staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t believe he was no more. The one man in her life whom she loved the most was no more. Though she was prepared for this day, she couldn’t digest the reality. She sat there like a stone, oblivious to her surroundings. People came and left her house. Her mother was cursing her, why she had to leave them 5 years back to marry Anish, to suffer a fate like this. Her mother and father were crying that her future has been ruined. Now that, she stood alone with a 4 year old daughter.

Nidhi wasn’t crying. She didn’t shed a single tear for him. Everyone around her asked to pent out her feelings, and not to control it. But his words ringed in his years “Nidhi, promise me you wont cry for me when I die. I don’t want you to feel weak and vulnerable losing me. Face my death bravely.” those were the words he told her when he knew that he was fast approaching his day where he would leave the world.

He was diagnosed with cancer, as soon as his daughter was born. They both strongly fought against this deadly disease for the past 4 years. He had even asked her to remarry, to which she had strongly objected. She will forever live with his memories etched in his heart. Now her only love was her daughter and the puppy, which he had brought for her last year.

Her daughter, not knowing what was happening around her came to her. In her little voice, she asked Nidhi “amma, why is everyone sitting around appa and crying, why is there a lot of flowers around appa”.

“My child, appa is sleeping forever”

The child did not understanding asked again “Then, wake him up amma. Tell him a lot of people, have come to see him”.

“Kirti, appa wont come back, god needed help in his office in heaven, so appa went there” she hugged the child.

The child looked up at her mother “amma, I feel like crying”. Nidhi hugged her tight; she could hear the little sobs of her daughter. Everyone came to pat her, and console. Some even suggested her to remarry. She did not pay any attention to them.

She was going down her memory lane….

………..Anish on discovering he had cancer had accepted it bravely. When she asked Nidhi to remarry for kirthi, she had strongly objected to it. She was on the verge of tears, that he hugged her. He asked her mockingly “you are saying no because, u couldn’t bear 1 marriage, let alone 2”. She looked back at him and could see the gleam in his eyes. She used the same mocking tone when she said “maybe”, and hugged him tighter. He murmured into her hair “I’m grateful to have you”. He had also made her promise that she will not show how weak she was by crying, when she loses him. They stood hugging each other for a long time….

When everyone left the house finally, she put Kirti to sleep and went to feed the dog. She then went to her room, no their room. She cleared all his things, looking at each one of it lovingly, holding to each of it like it was her life. She was going through their photos. At last she burst crying, jus looking at Anish smile back from the photo. She hugged herself together and sat their crying for hours.

The next day she sent Kirti to school, kept all the required food outside for the dog, a nanny will come in the after noon to look after Kirti. She then left to her office. Everyone sympathized with her on seeing her at the office. Even the boss asked her to take leave if she wanted to. But Nidhi said it was better if she worked. It would keep her mind of Anish. But he was still their in her mind. However hard she tried to engross herself in her work. She was working in the marketing department of the company. She went to submit a report to the marketing manager, and was surprised to see a new face there.

Sunil looked up from his desk to ask the person outside his room to enter. He was caught offhand of the woman who entered his room. He had not seen her yesterday, when he took this post. She must be one of those employees who were not at work yesterday. He then introduced himself as the new marketing manager. She gave him a smile. But he could see that her beautiful face was filled with sorrow. He immediately wanted to tell her everything would be alright. She then said she was Nidhi, he then remembered she was the woman who the whole office was talking about yesterday. She had lost her husband yesterday. He asked her to sit down, saying that he heard what happened to her husband and felt sorry for it.

Nidhi at once snapped at the new manager, that she did not need anyone’s sympathy. She was fed up hearing people sympathizing for her wherever she went. She did not need their sympathy. She can as well take care of herself. She submitted her report hastily, and left the room.

Sunil was taken aback by her snappiness. Wondering where in her face did she hide all these snappy emotions? He sat there watching her going out of the room. At the end of the day, he saw Nidhi waiting at the bus stop. He offered a lift in his car, for which she snapped again saying that she disapproved of his behavior. First, he sympathizes then he offers a lift. This wasn’t going to make her fall in his trap. She warned him not to try anything and take an advantage of her being a young widow.

Sunil cursed himself for stopping to give her a lift. He decided he would not interrupt in her business. And went on his way, thinking why she was so snappy around him. He seriously did not have any intentions for her as she had mentioned. He only wanted to help her.

She reached home, sent the nanny home. She then asked Kirti how school was and they both sat down to do Kirti’s homework, then they played with the dog and they ate dinner. By the time Kirti was sleepy. She put the child to sleep, and went out to the verandah. She suddenly felt sorry to have snapped at the new marketing manager. She was the assistant manager and will have to confront him often. She decided he was only trying to be nice to her, first thing in the morning, she would say sorry to him. With that thought she slept dreaming of Anish….

When she reached office, she excused into Sunil’s room and asked him to forgive her for being snappy yesterday. He just nodded a good morning to her saying that it wasn’t her fault, she was under stress yesterday. Then they went on with their work. At the end of the day, Sujith one of Nidhi’s colleagues asked Nidhi if he could accompany her home. Being a friend of Nidhi for so long, he said her daughter would be waiting for her and it would get late if she went by bus. Sunil overheard the conversation, as well as Nidhi accepting his invitation. He felt like kicking himself, she did not come with him yesterday, but today she is going with Sujith. Then he said to himself that, he was the new person here. So she did not trust him enough.

But something in Sujith’s voice said that the guy was up to something and Sunil mentally made a note that he would follow them home today. He did not know what made him do that, but he followed her home. On reaching Nidhi’s house, Sunil hid himself behind a tree. He cursed himself saying that it was crazy. What happened to Nidhi was not his problem, but something made him come here. He could hear Sujith’s voice from his hiding place.

Sujith asked if he could come inside, Nidhi said no. Sujith was trying to enter her house. He heard Sujith’s voice saying, “I’ve been waiting for this so long, and I’ve been in love with you from your college days. But you seemed to ignore me and go with that loser Anish. Well now he is gone well and good, I may be married, and you do yearn for physical satisfaction as Anish is gone. We need not marry each other, but may satisfy each others needs….”

Sunil then heard Nidhi slapping Sujith hard on his face. But he put an arm around her, and did not leave her. He was trying to push her into the car. Sunil came from his hide out, and kicked Sujith hard on his stomach, and rescued Nidhi from his wrath. He hit Sujith hard that he fled away from the place. He turned to see if Nidhi was alright. She was shivering. He then asked her to go to her house, and rest. He turned to his car and left the place, he did not give her a chance to say anything.

Next morning in the office, Sujith kept his distance from Nidhi. Nidhi went to thank Sunil for everything. And in the course of time they became good friends. Sunil used to visit her house. Kirti and the dog liked him very much. He understood her feelings and emotions as he himself was brought up by his mother who was a single parent. He had lost his father when he was very young. They both were like some old lost friends. Not expecting anything from each other.

Sunil knew he was making a mistake, trying to get tangled himself with Nidhi. At last he asked her one day, if she is considering remarrying. She then told about Anish’s last words and how she will not be loyal to him, if she chooses to remarry. She couldn’t think of another man taking Anish’s place in her heart. Hearing all these things, Sunil crushed all his feelings for her. They were not right. He mustn’t have thought of marrying her. Her love was so divine. He did not want to mess up his friendship with her.

Thus time flew, Kirti reached college and Nidhi was a successful parent. Sunil got settled and married the girl of his mother’s choice. Their friendship continued for life. At times they used to joke about how she snapped at him the first time she saw him. She was glad to have his company and comfort in those difficult days in her life.


There is a small line between friendship and love. Nidhi and Sunil knew where to draw the line and be happy and content with life. And they gave fullness to Nidhi’s love to Anish.

Monday, May 8, 2006

an OLD breeze crossed his path...

Ok… my first real story written by me…..

This was a part of my personality development class in my 1st yr of college They asked me to write a story with a given set of words.

The words were “car radio”, “window”, “blood”, “footprints”, “davos”, “path breaking”, “ambience”, “carpet”, “ball”, “coat”, “tissue”, “apples”, “knife”, “news”. So here is my 1st attempt to write a story. I titled it as “the untitled”


An OLD breeze crossed his path...

He switched off the car radio and got out of his car. The blood drained from his face; on the other side of the road she stood as beautiful as ever. There was no change in her, even after so many years (I don’t know how woman do it yet they remain the same after so many years!!! ). At once he was transported to his college days……

Where they were so much in love.

They met each other when they were asked to assemble to watch a documentary on ‘Davos’ the economic forum in Switzerland. She had bumped into him accidentally and their books had got switched giving them an opportunity to meet again. From there was no looking back for them. But unfortunate circumstances had made them part. He remembered the quote “there are many people who cross your life, but only some leave their footprints” and she was one of them. He was still deciding on whether to meet her or not, he didn’t have the courage to face her. He was filled with doubts that she might have changed and may have even forgotten him and would be reluctant to speak to him. But at last he decided he would go and see her, no matter what.

As he was crossing the road, he saw a small boy playing with a yo-yo ball come running to her. He had the same eyes as hers. The same eyes into which he has stared longingly. A lump formed in his throat when he realized that the boy must be her son. His fingers tightened around his coat, he felt guilty to have left her. They had such a path breaking romance in their college days, and here she was married to another guy and having a son. He continued walking as she had seen him and was waving at him recognizing him instantly. He reached her. She was very surprised to see him there. She enquired about his work and whereabouts. She told him about her life, and her loving husband and son. A pang of jealousy spread through him. She wasn’t uncomfortable talking to him. Only he felt low on his spirits that he was sweating and had to take out a tissue from his pocket and mop his face. She then said it was getting late and had to leave. She promised to keep in touch, but he was not keen on it, he felt his heart beating faster that she was going to leave him forever, not that she already left him. They finally parted.

He reached home completely disturbed. How could she do this to him, completely disregard his feelings. He was sitting by the window and was slicing apples with a knife. This again brought him a train of memories …. How many times has she sliced apples for him, prepared dinner for him, made his favorite chocolate cake….. He looked out; the mist was like a carpet covering everything like how his memories covered him now. He merged with the ambience and was deep in thought. He was trying to figure it out what went wrong between them. He had no news of her when she left college. He remembered how he searched for her low and high around the city to find her. He remembered that her last words to him were ‘it’s not working; we’ll better part and go on with our lives’. She never gave any explanation as to why it did not work. He couldn’t dissolve her words in him.

And seeing her today has aroused all kinds of feelings in him. But seeing that it was not the same with her, he had tried to accept the situation gracefully. He still didn’t know what parted them, but was sure it wasn’t his fault. Now that she has settled in her life, it was of no use to bother about her again. He has to go over her. And it was time he got settled in life forgetting the past. And life doesn’t stand still does it. It just goes on. It is only us who has to adjust to it right. So be prepared to adjust yourselves to any situation in life.

With that I end the story

jottings frm my slam book 5

my friends and how they see me
Birthday: June 7

She wrote…..

I’m known as: seshmitha veda

My nick name is: seshu, sesh, seshmi

My sweet home is going to be built on mars

I was born in a spaceship (i.e. I’d like to tell u that but no lies so) on 7-6-19—

Zodiac: gemini

My best pals: aliens books and strangers

I look back to the day wen I joined school

My heartaches to think of the day wen my pet dog ran away

I hav a crush on a person called nobody (nobody os a spiriy. Spiritual love u see)

I like to munch on something eatable, pizzas, burgers, tasty home made food.

My fav. Singers: sadhana,unnikrihnan.unnimenon,srinivas

The teacher I like most and y: anne Shirley, life and nature there cant be anybody better

My fav. Movies: titanic, shrek, a.i, beautiful mind, final fantasy

The prettiest actress is aishwarya and meg ryan, keene reeves, hugh jackman

Outfits: jeans, kurtas, tops

Tv shows: x-men 2

Where do u see urself in 10 yrs: in the 3 sirens

U’ve won a lottery,wat wud u do with it? Help a needy child and the reason is obvious

Wat do mental hospitals make u feel: at home?

Finish the sentence: I cant wait till…. I have my first ####

If u want to redo something in life wat wud it be? I don’t think I’ll redo anything. I don’t think I’ll like it

Tell me 1 thing that makes u smile, no matter wat. My books my friends

I go bananas over bananas

Music stars: norah jones, avril lavigne, Vanessa carlton, celine

I wud love to go to proxima centauri

Love to me is undefinable

I tap my feet to the rhythm of anything that is good music

I aspire to bcom a person with at least 1.5 kg of brains

About u I feel: u r a unique friend

What I am, describe it? Is it possible?

My best moment with u is every moment with u

Dated: 28/2/2002 and 18/6/2003

She wrote in my hi5……

Sesh says: vidya is one of the most amazing multi-talented sweet ppl i've ever met in life.. she's extremely smart & intelligent without being stuckup like the toppers always are... she's one of the best painters i've known too...etremely creative and expressive. she's always the sweet sympathetic friend who listens to your pathetic woes , the fun friend you can joke around with , the dependable friend who never forgets ur birthday....i cud go on ...but then again i wudn't want her to get diabetic with all these sweet compliments i'm giving her.... PS: all the above are seriously true ;-)


jottings frm my slam book 4

my friends and how they see me
Birthday: haloween

She wrote…….

I’m known as: visalam

My nick name is: vichu

I was born on haloween

Zodiac sign: scorpio

My beat pals: everybody whom I don’t like.

I look back to the day wen: I met surya(actor)

My heart aches to think of the day: annual day and sports day with ----- and ------

I hav a crush on: rajusundaram

I like to munch on: which do not add wt. even though I’m not tat plump.

My fav. Singer: I don’t enjoy music

The teacher I like most and y; thilakavathi bcoz she is soo sweet.

My fav. Movie: roja

Actor: surya

Actress: aishwarya

I go bananas over: ppl who look gud.

I wud love to go to: guduvanchery, thiruvanamalai

Love to me is my dance and my parents ( I don’t know 4 present generation)

I tap my feet t the rhythm of anything

I aspire to bcom a dance master in the media

About u I feel: u r bad always to me exactly bad

My best moment wid u: last yr.

Dated: 27/2/2002

She wrote in hi5…………

Vichu says: vidya is one person whom u can trust,believe etc etc etc. to tell u the truth vidya is my role model......... she is a racemic mixture she watches two good movies bfore every exams but still manages to top....i wonder how she is crazy abt madhavan(if u were smart enogh u shd know it without even me tellin u[the display pic])she luvs karthic(singer) likes siddharth(actor) kind,cute,luvable,swt,calm,composed,nice and all faltterin words in the dictionary belongs to her oneperson everybody want to be in touch with .


jottings frm my slam book 3

my friends and how they see me
ALICE (college)
Birthday: April 26

She wrote…..

Name: Alice the great!!

People call me: aleece(kandy), nisha(easha), kedi, kutti chathan etc…

You love: troubling people, talking non stop, chatting online with good pals or jus ask deepthi, she will tell u in detail……..drinking fruit juices too!!!

Please jot down some of ur favorites:-

Music band: BLUE… can’t remember any other band

Actors: shah rukh khan Actress: main hoon na!!!!

Movies: quite a few….. swades, azhagiya theeya, many more……

Food: spicy chatpatta stuff and all drinks except milk tea and coffee

Outfits: hmm….it’s better u tell me wat is better 4 me.

Tv shows: friends-laughter challenge on star one, whose line is it anyway?, full hous, yess boss…(I basically like a lot of things on tv and visual media)

Where do u see urself in 10 yrs. : hopefully alive 4 the well being of this earth! Otherwise the world will be in ruins without me.

You’ve jus won $1, 000, 000, 00 in a lottery. Wat do u think u will do wid it, and y? : hmmmm……it’s a large amt. and u know I’m not good in maths either. Therefore wud speak to my finance consultant and let u know….

Wat do menta hospitals make u feel? 2 admit ppl. Like deepthi!! Y shud v alone suffer? (jus kiddin otherwise deepthi will kill me)

Finish the sentence: I cant wait until……. I do something useful in life. Example: training u all 2 bcom successful like me!!

If u want 2 redo something in ur life wat wud it be? Hmmm… I wud want 2 b taller…. But then I wud never look younger than the senior citizens around me in school and college.

Tell me one thing tat makes u smile, no matter wat: the very thought of my friends and their stupidity….

Wat I am describe it: how do u understand accounts? U hav brains and gr8 tolerance and patience!! A good listener esp. to boring ppl. Like me. And a fun person to be with. Don’t v hav fultoo time pass talking abt others and their love stories??

Dated till: I grow as tall a sushmitha sen or I write in another slam book of urs with the same details.

She wrote in my hi5 testimonial….

Alice says: So what shall i tell u abt ViDya !! shez a major user of the internet !! loves gettin connected in alll poossiibblle wayss !! but an extremely talented person !! too scholarly for me !! even though she finishes studying soon she'l call me up and say " hey im not happy abt my preparation it got over so soon " and i will be like " thats becoz ur a genius, Vidya !!" so i guess u can now know how she is !! Shez wonderfull at writting stories... loves to write... but she always makes a spelling mistake with "mariage" n "diffrence" Hope you're getting what i mean !! ( provided the person readin this knowz proper english ) shez a nice friend neway !! verrryy helpful too !!

With love,
(very confidential)

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Jottings from my slam books 2

MAHESWARI (college friend)
Birthday: June 4

She wrote……

Hai da,

I am sure u will b very happy on June 4, not only u every1 in this world, will b celebrating this day, do u know y, bcoz its my bday da. (one request please, read this with expressions in ur voice). Thank u da 4 givin me an opportunity to think abt us (only). Ok ok, I’ll come to the matter.

Sweet name chosen by my parents 4 their sweetie bud is maheswari. My parents and some who r close to me will call me “ammu” (maadu). I had my life’s lovely part (i.e. school life) in gr8 st. ebbas girls’ higher secondary school. Actually I don’t know how to start. B4 starting 2 write, there were lots and lots in my mind. But wen I started my mind is off and my heart (u r there) started, but u know my heart is so …… kutt, that it doesn’t know anything… ok, ok don’t sneeze.

Name : mahaswari.n
First cry on: 04-06-19—
Birth place: Chennai kalyani hospital

Y I’m ritin this is tat bcoz, if u come 2 know tat in kalyani hospital, such a sweet bud like me was born there. U can suggest tat hospital 2 ur x, don’t mistake, I don’t know ur husband to be’s name tats y I used x.

My favorites: (if there r spellin mistakes plz bear wid me)

Place: kerala, Australia, England, Netherlands and of course Chennai.
Dress: chudi, saree, half saree (I’m very adakkam u know)
Food: everythin prepared by my mom especially fried rice, chappathi, and parrupu payasam.
Actor: Charlie chaplin
Actress: hema malini
Singer: mr.spb, mrs.janaki, hariharan and of course me.
Songs: all songs which make me happy.
Loves: blue colour, Poona kutti, all kinds of birds, naai kutti (but I’m scared to go near it), trees like banyan and mango. All flowers especially rose and marikolunthu, teddy bear, ur stories, and it goes on my dear. Everything created by god. I’m really amazed abt each and every tiny and huge creatures of god.

Hates: waking me up wen I’m sleeping, some people’s dressing, hitting Poona kutti and other creatures, my most favorite dish getiing over b4 I eat by my sweet brothers (villains).

My happiest moments: june 4th, Feb. 13th, sep 29th and each and every moment I live in this wonderful world.

About me:-

I’m not tat much gud in studies, but I luv maths. I’m an open type girl, tat is I’ll speak to all but will not get so close to them. U must have known tat by now. I luv my family very much in this world. I’m not as creative as u r. the thing I luv in me is that I can understand others feelings. I’m a really very short tempered person, but it is only for a few moments, then I try to make myself turn to be normal. I think u wud have understood me much better if u have any doubt ask ur _ _ _ _ _ don’t blink fill it as h e a r t da.

About u:-

There r many things which I liked in you. The 1st one is ur chweet name “VIDYA”. Say thanks to ur parents 4 choosing such a nice name 4 u. the next is that ur creativity. I hav read in 1 book that small things will do gr8 gr8 changes in this world. After seeing u I started believing those lines bcoz ur kutti kutti brain is doing (thinking) great thinks (things) and all those handiworks. Ok, ok don’t paranthufy come to land. U r very jovial to all. Good in studies and there is totally no words to express u.

The 1 thing that I don’t like in u is ur handwriting. I don’t hav the right to say this bcoz mine is also horrible. But u see if v don’t hav anything then v expect others to hav it. I am not saying it is too worse, gr8 scholars like me can read any handwriting. There is 1 saying that if ur handwriting is not gud then ur thalai writing (thalaezhuthu) will be gud. But don’t believe all those stuff. If with this handwriting u’ve reached the skys means with ur improved handwriting u can reach the stars.

“varthaigalin suzhalil sikkhi
Unakaga ithai naan ezhutinen
En ayulil oru mani
Aanal nam natpu oru yugam valarnthuvittathu”

“my world has never been the same
Ever since I met u
Now, there is something special
Round every corner
A kind word, an unexpected gift
A pleasant surprise, a warn smile
Friends like ‘u’ make life worth living”

“may life shower ‘u’ with
Invaluable things”

“LOVE says ‘I love u’
CRUSH says ‘I like u’
HUG says ‘I want u’
SMILE says ‘I adore u‘
But my dear u say
We’ll be there 4 all these together”

“Hold god tightly throughout
Ur life he will guide u and
Make u fly high beyond ur
expectations. Always there will be 1
Small heart praying 4 u”

“Whatever I’ve written
Is nothing more than
A few words
And maybe the words
I’ve written
May not be lyrical
Like the song of the birds.
But then I’m not a poet,
Nor wud I prefer to be one”

So if there is any mistake please sagichify da.

Be good and do good bye da challam

Dated till I forget ur name.

Jottings from my slam books

My friends and how they see me…….

ESTHER (college friend)
Birthday: march 25

She wrote….

Hai daa,
B4 I cud start anything, I wud like 2 thank u 4 giving me an opportunity 2 pen down a few words in this book of urs. Wen I started ritin, the 1st thing tat came 2 my mind is tat, I wud b a person whom u would remember till u lose this book. I warn u please keep this book safely. I hope u wud not miss it. Ok comin to the matter.

My sweet name is M.R.esther (later on the initial will b changed and u know wat it is). In my house they call me chitrangi. My pals call me shakthi, malagu and u may call me as u wish. Till 10th STD I was in church park then I continued my studies in st. ebbas. As 4 now I hope tat u know at least a part of my character, anyway I’ll tell u my dear.

People used to say tat I’m a jovial person who mingles with people freely and easily. I’m a person who is very much attached towards friends and beloved ones (u know). I’m a mischievous girl as u expected. I’m very sensitive and possessive person. And a very bad character of mine is I’m a very very short tempered person. I’m an open hearted person.

Then comin to studies, I was not a studious student. But till 10th I was a gud student. I shouldn’t talk proud of myself but jus 4 u 2 know abt me I’m telling this. I was bold enouf to answer in classes. But it was only till 10th. U know the reason y. Ya, obviously its jus bcoz of my commitment with u know who. I’m like as though left in a wonderland with my ------ (u know). Ok, I’ll stop talking abt ------ (u know).

About u according to me:-

Vidya u r such a wonderful girl who became frnds with me within a few days. Though v were in the same class in jus a month v bcam gud frnds.

The thing I like in u most is the friendly behavior and creative mind of urs.

U’ve really got a gud sense of creating new things. I like ur artistic work and the imaginative story writing skills of urs. Not all get this precious type of blessings frm god. So thank god 4 it and utilize ur talent to the fullest. I’ll pray 2 god tat he may shower blessings upon u and ur family. My hearty wishes 4 a bright future.

My favorites:-

Dish - fried rice and crispy items
Things - spongy dolls
Dress - chudi, salwar, half saree, saree.
Actor - surya and only surya
Actress – jo.
Place - my grand ma’s place bcoz u know who ------
Movies - all surya movies
Song - all melodious songs
Singers - spb, Bombay jayashree, hariharan
Latest crush on - s----h and surya but always u know who ------
Loves - babies, spongy dolls, kutty kutty chicks, love birds, pets especially deny and roger (my pet dogs)
Hates - to get angry, to grow nails, hates wen s----h speaks with girls especially.
My embarrassing moment - September 17
My happiest moment - aug 7th 2005 and sep 10th 2005 .then the month of October, especially October 31st 2005.

Advice to u:-

I’m not worthy of givin advice but anyway, jus tat it is as a kind request frm ur friend.

Please, please, please change and improve ur handwritin bcoz the wonderful talents tat u possess shouldn’t b hidden or washed away bcoz of ur handwritin.

Other than that be vidya as vidya itself.

Bye take care.

Always ur loving friend. :-) Esther

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